People, Places and Things - Elephant Camp Part 2

Thank God I'm heading out of Chiang Mai soon (5 days and counting)....there is absolutely no stone left unturned in this town. Anywho, back to camp.

Yes that's my rustic bamboo hut your looking at. I forgot to take pictures of the equally rustic shower and toilets but at least they had water and there weren't squat toilets. Who am I kidding, after the ballbusting workdays we had, you could have given me a blanket and a concrete floor and I would have been happy. The ongoing argument at dinner every night was whether the sounds we heard on the roof at night were leaves falling or were rats climbing across the roof. I was voting for leaves as it made it a bit easier to sleep. But look! Mosquito netting, how cool is that?

Showering was quite the challenge, there wasn't always electricity for the water pump and truth be told the shower was not up to snuff. So the alternative? There was always a large rubber garbage can filled with cold rain water and a bucket to use. Try doing that at 6:30am. On more mornings than not I would usually just lather up my dry skin with liquid soap and then douse myself with buckets water to rinse off, all the time trying not to scream like a girl because it was so. damn. cold. Mind you after coming in from a hot day of work I will say said bathing was also incredibly refreshing.

People, Places and Things - Elephant Camp Part 1

Sweet baby Jesus, my back hurts, I can't get my feet clean and I'm afraid to open my backpack because it's contents probably smells like a sewer. Oh, by the way, Best. Week. Ever. I don't even know how to write about a week at elephant camp, I was originally going to do a day by day entry, I even was keeping a journal so I could remember what I did but it just doesn't seem to work.

So the people, what a mix. We had 25 volunteers there for the week and it was the widest assortment of types, ages, shapes and personalities you could imagine. The largest contingent was Australian, a few from the UK, one lonely American, 2 Canucks and a few French gals. Right, and a German. A German doctor. A loud, annoying, opinionated German doctor. Well there has to be one in every group, the guy who gets on your last gay nerve in the shortest time possible. Luckily it was also a bonding experience for the rest of us. We thought he was on staff but shortly found out he was just starting his second week as a volunteer. Why did we think he was staff? You'd think so too with the way he was bossing everyone around and walking around like he owned the place. All it took was catching someone's eye as they gave an eyeroll or you'd hear them mutter under their breathe "O.K. Adolph we heard you the first time" and a laugh would be shared and bonding would happen. Anywho, enough about him, the best part of the whole experience really was working, eating, laughing and having fun with the rest of the crew.

Our day started with breakfast at 7, chores, and by chores I mean cutting down 10 foot highgrass with machetes, unloading pickup trucks filled with fruits and vegetables for the elephants, mucking out the elephant pens (or poo patrol as we called it), elephant feeding, bathing, more eating, more chores, more eating and in bed by 10 at the latest to get up early and start it all over again. Don't worry though we had fun. Cleaning out the elephant mud pit would end in a mud fight, elephant bathing resulted in water fights and playing a card game called shithead means there was much hooting and hollering and laughing and talking.

I'll be writing more over the next few days, probably until you're sick of hearing about elephant camp. Just wanted to say hey, I'm alive and I think I lost my gay card in the elephant mud pit because no sane gay man would ever post a picture like this one.

I just called, to say....

I'm heading out of town for a week. I'm off to the wilderness to volunteer at elephant camp. So, no email or internet, there may be cellphone access......if I don't post the week I get back you can assume that I either got lost in the jungle, trampled by elephants or lynched by the other volunteers for my sarcastic comments about their poor choices in hats.

Other than trying to figure out how many articles of clothing to bring (they recommend 1 set of clothes per day plus 1){this was obviously not determined by a gay man which would be 2 per day minimum}, I've been finalizing my last 6 weeks or so in southeast Asia. It's funny because I did plenty of research but never actually made any type of itinerary, completely forgetting that things like flights and accommodations might actually need to be done in advance. So once I get back, God willing, I just have to fire off some emails and hit up a travel agent in town to get everything finalized. It's working out roughly to 4 days in Pattaya to see Jay, 10 days in Cambodia (Phnom Phen, Siem Reap and Sihanoukville) and then off to Kuala Lumpur and Penang in Malaysia for another 10 days. After that, Vancouver.

Give me 5 minutes, I'm sure my mood will change

So, in my head I had a long blog, o.k. a rant, about how bored I am, I'm ready to leave Chiang Mai and within a few short hours all gone. Why? Well I heard from a guy who I've been in touch with but hadn't yet met and with some arm twisting he got me out of the house and off to the final night of Loy Kratong. Yes there was arm twisting because I was ready to just settle in, be cranky, eat junk food and bemoan the fact that I was in Thailand. I know, my life sucks. Truth be told, if I was to do this again I would stay in Chiang Mai a shorter period of time and also make sure I had more cash in the bank. I'm living cheque to cheque right now and it makes me damn anxious always wondering how much commission will be coming in. Right now I have enough to last me til my next payday so keep praying for me that the next 2 weeks are good ones for money coming in.

Anyways, I digress. So, arm twisted I hopped on the back of D.J.'s scooter and we tore off down to the centre of all the action down near Tha Pae Gate. Parades, fireworks and crowds of people. None of these would usually appeal to me but things are different here, the people actually have manners. No elbowing, pushing, feet being trampled by obnoxious bimbos wearing high heels. They do it right here, orderly, well mannered and gracious. For the first time ever I actually enjoyed going to parade.

The best thing of all is the launching all night of thousands of paper lanterns fuelled by candles, something we would never be able able to do in the west. Fire hazards? Of course they are, there's a reason there are teams of guys armed with 20 foot poles running around whacking the damn things out of trees and power lines. It's up in the air whether the power failure at my apartment last night should be attributed to a lantern gone astray or errant fireworks but it's 6 of one, half dozen of another at this point because the lanterns are pretty cool.

Anyways, I'm almost halfway done my trip. I know, right? While I feel like I've overstayed my time in Chiang Mai a bit, my week at elephant camp is only 5 days away. When I was at the camp office today I heard there are 10 other volunteers this round so I have 10 new people to contend and get along with in addition to the rustic setting north of Chiang Mai complete with bamboo huts, mosquito netting, squat toilets and rainwater showers. You know I'll have plenty to say about all of it when I return.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Planes? Check. Automobiles? Check. Trains? As we speak my friends. That clickity clacking I’m listening to isn’t the keys on my keyboard, I’m riding the rails on the night train from Chiang Mai to Bangkok then hopping a bus down to Pattaya for a few days of sitting by the ocean.

I’m living in Chiang Mai and while it’s a lovely city it’s 1/ stifling hot and 2/ not a hotbed of gay life. So, as I friend of mine used to say when we were at a party not having much fun – “it’s time to hike up our petticoats and flee the premises.” So petticoats have been hiked, I booked a ticket on the overnight train, packed my new 5 litre knapsack with a few t-shirts, shorts and board shorts (oh and hair care products) and am heading off for a few days. Plus the cute guy I hung out with last time I was in Pats has called and texted, so I’m traveling by train for a booty call.

I’m in my bunk right now, the upper one unfortunately. Luckily on the trip back I snagged the lower bunk which is larger and also closer to the ground. I’m not really trusting that the 2 leather straps they have to keep you in your bunk if you roll will hold. Just saying. Speaking of larger, the upper bunk might be fine for a small adult but seeing I’m 5’9” I’ll be generous and say it’s length is 5’9” and a smidge. Not a quarter inch or a half, a smidge.

This is traveling 2^nd class in Thailand. Aircon and at some point attendants come around convert the seats into a lower bunk, lower the upper bunk, make the beds up, sweet deal and all for $50 round trip.

The swaying of the train is both nauseating but lulling me to sleep…………..

Chiang Mai at night

My Favourite Things

Julie Andrews can suck it with her "raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens". Some of my favourite things are $6 mani/pedi's, $2 to get your laundry washed, ironed and folded and $27 to get your teeth cleaned by a dentist who graduated from UCLA. That's the great thing about Thailand and I'm sure one the reasons people love it here, it has all the modern conveniences we expect but the prices are a steal.

Another thing, toothpicks. I know, right? They actually have them here at every restaurant. What with all the various vegetables which seem to get stuck in your teeth along with stringy beef and well to be honest, all the meat is kind of stringy, it pays to be able to do a bit of dental hygiene every time you eat. You go one meal without and go out afterwards and you'll be driven insane feeling like there's a popcorn kernel stuck in your tooth for the rest of the night, it tends to be a bit distracting.

It funny how quickly you can become adapted to a place, after a little over a week I've settled into a routine and while I won't say it feels like home, it feels like I live here. I was walking to pick up dinner the other night and it popped into my head, "I'm actually in a foreign country". It sounds stupid but once you're not in vacation mode and you're off to Starbucks in the morning, racing to school, meeting friends for a drink, you settle into a regular life. The only difference is they speak a different language, the money is a different color and they're a hell of a lot more friendly than the surly service we're used to in Vancouver.

School is finally starting to pay off, while I have a hell of a time saying the words at least I can understand a little bit more. Whether it's my manicurist looking at me and saying "rawn mak mak" (very, very hot) or the vendor where I buy my dinner saying the price. The only downside is when it comes to numbers I still have to start at one and count my way up til I hit the number in my head, but hey, it's progress not perfection.

Mom, are we there yet?

7 hours of travel today and outside of riding a donkey I think I covered most of the types of transportation in Thailand, songthaew, charter bus, taxi, airplane, hired car and tuk tuk.

The highlight, and not in a good way, was the 2 hour bus ride from Pattaya to Bangkok. For those of you who know me, I have a bladder the size of a walnut and being in southeast Asia one of the rules is drink plenty of water. Not really the best combination for a bus ride on what was either a really bumpy highway or a bus with the worst set of shocks ever. So, after putting off the inevitable for a long as possible, The deal had to be done. Imagine, if you will, a cramped bus toilet one step up from the squat toilets you hear about, a low ceiling, a broken door latch and said bumpy ride. At one point I was gripping the side of the toilet with my knees, one arm behind holding on for dear life to the broken latch with my head wedged into the corner of the wall for balance and stability. Needless to say, the next time I make a bus trip here I'll suffer through dehydration rather than go through that again.

Chiang Mai, from the little I've seen so far finally feels like Thailand. They talk about Thailand being the Land of Smiles but I didn't actually experience that until I stepped up to the gate at the airport to come here. All of a sudden it was all smiles and greeting and wai's which has continued for the short time I've been in the city.

I think I'm going to like it here......